Two days ago, I woke up and poked myself. Something seemed different. I couldn’t quite remember what it was at first, but then it hit me.
Boy did it hit me. Right between the eyes . . . the same eyes with the crow’s feet at the corners. When did they show up?
I turned 50. As my father would remind me, 50 is half a century.
So, of course, this is a time of reflection in my life. And with all those years now behind me, there is really only one lesson of any significance that I have learned along the way.
It is all about God’s glory.
I realize now that, early on, I had a very superficial view of what this Christian walk should look like. I thought that my life should be neat and tidy. Full of order and even easy. Everything in its place, so to speak. I am a doer, so at the end of the day, if I could happily check off my list of all that I had accomplished for God’s kingdom, it was a very good day. And, of course, I had it all planned out, this life of mine. Exactly how everything was going to go. Or so I tried. However, reality is that often I was discouraged because I would start out that way on Monday, but by about Thursday, the frustration invading my heart and mind was about as disheartening as the pile of dirty clothes growing on my laundry floor. Life didn’t work that way. Things didn’t always go as smoothly as my well made plans. My hopes and dreams were not always realized. Many days were not neat and tidy at all , but actually quite messy.
The reason why many are still troubled, still seeking, still making little forward progress is because they haven’t yet come to the end of themselves. We’re still trying to give orders, and interfering with God’s work within us. A.W. Tozer
It has taken me awhile – about 50 years actually – to realize that as imperfect as my life may seem on this earth, it doesn’t really matter in the big scheme of things. It is even okay to look back on some of the moments in my life and wonder “what was that all about?” I now know that it has never been about my well-made plans. It’s all about what God has planned for me. Instead of always thinking I need to be in the driver’s seat and on the move, I am finally learning to stop, sit and listen. God has much to say to me about how He wants me to live this life, especially since He is getting me ready for what waits for me in the next. But as long as He keeps working, keeps molding, keeps teaching, keeps rebuking, then I have no doubt that His glory will be seen. That is because when I have lost all control, I have nothing left but to fall at the feet of Jesus. And what a beautiful life that really is.
Psalm 50:23 says He who offers a sacrifice of thanksgiving honors Me.
How can I not offer such a sacrifice to God? How can I not continue to count my blessings? There is much to be thankful for as I look back on fifty years of God’s grace being poured out on me. And when I ponder it long and hard, I can say I am even thankful for the times when my days were at their worst because that is when it was truly all God and none of me.
So to being 50 . . . I say bring it on! Here’s to the messy life! No early retirement for me. I want nothing more than to go where my Heavenly Father leads. I love the mountains, but I’ll take the valleys, as long as I’m following in the footsteps of the God of this Universe. As long as I am becoming more like Him so that others may see His awesomeness – the One who made the heavens and the earth, but knows and cares for even me.
I may be getting older. There may come a time when most things I may even forget. But there is one thing I will always hold on to.
Today and for all eternity, it’s all about God’ glory.
And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord,are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit. 2 Corinthians 3:18